Random thoughts…

 “Without the capacity to provide its own information, the mind drifts into randomness.”
--Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi

§  The Sergeant Major and I have enjoyed the British television series “Downton Abbey”.  We were late to the party so we watched Season 1 via streaming Netflix.  We await the arrival of the CD’s of Season 2, although we were able to catch Episode 1 on Amazon Prime.  We’ve closed our eyes to Season 3 so far.
A number of pundits and critics have agonized over why this series has become so popular.  I think part of the reason is what I call the “Back in the Box” syndrome.  We’ve been exhorted to “Think Outside the Box” for so long we’re weary of it.  All it seems to have produced is economic hardship, barbaric behavior—tattoos and piercings run amok, bipolarization of our society, and this feeling of apprehension about what disaster lies in wait.  We just want to get “back in the box” of order, civility, manners.  No, the world of Downton Abbey is not a perfect world—war, betrayal, blackmail, social unrest—all exist.  But people don’t seem to use it as an excuse to abandon all the rules at once, and start running around like chickens with their heads cut off.  Decorum still counts.

 §  Speaking of rules, we now know for certain that Lance Armstrong broke them.  And lied about it.  That’s what bothers me the most I think.  Perhaps it’s time to look at the rules.  Is blood doping in order to enhance physical performance any worse than the improvements nutrition, diet, and vitamin and mineral supplements have brought us?  Maybe if we didn’t have the obsession of comparing today’s performances with those of the past we wouldn’t be quite so righteous.  I don’t think it’s fair to compare today’s hitters to Babe Ruth.  Did he have the benefit of Nutrition and Strength coaches paid for by the team?  Perhaps he did.  Sorry.  I’m thinking outside the box already. 

§  Monday was a holiday for me so I got to spend some time on my new hobby—cooking.  My five-year old grandson took his nap on the couch while I went to the kitchen.  When he awoke his Mom was home and they began to chat.  I was only half listening until I heard this:

Grandson:           “Where’s Grandpa?”

Daughter:            “He’s in the kitchen cooking supper.”

SILENCE

Daughter (laughing):  “What do you think?  Should we be worried?”

Grandson:           “No…let’s just be confused.”

Good advice.  No more worries for me either.  Better to just stay confused.  Healthier anyway.

 §  Today’s news story about a middle school teacher facing termination in Ohio has me both worried and confused.  Apparently she gave one of her students some duct tape to fix her binder.  The student then shared the duct tape with several other students who each put a strip across their mouths and asked the teacher to take a picture.  She did so, and later posted it as a joke on Facebook.  (Yes, I know, no social media allowed).  This upset the Board of Education badly.  But the best line in the article was the Board President asking the questions:  “Why was there duct tape in the classroom?  How did they [the students] come to have access to it?”
I have several grandchildren in school and this raises lots of questions:  Are my grandchildren really safe from duct tape?  How do I talk to them about duct tape?  What if another child’s parents allow him access to duct tape?  How can I stop them from sharing?  What if a stranger offers them duct tape?  What should they do if they are accidentally exposed to duct tape?  I could go on but I won’t.  I could say it’s because of the idiots who run the schools these days, but that’s not entirely fair.  Truth be told, I thought the folks who ran things when I was in school were idiots too.

 §  Back to cooking.  I really am enjoying it.  It has helped me focus.  I’ve been a little bit better in other facets of my life, including cleaning the kitchen.  You want to say, “I wish I’d done this before”, but that’s a waste of time.  If I should have done it before, I would have done it before.  As the Zen saying goes, “When the student is ready, the teacher will come”.  You have to be ready, or it won’t make sense.

 §  Speaking of ready.  I’ve reached that magic age where I’ve begun to think about all the things that went into arriving at this point, and all the things I want to do before I hear the final whistle.  Much of what I want to do yet is what I loved to do when my world was young.  Reading, writing, studying something new.  Theaters, museums, libraries.  Music, Art, Dance, Literature.  These were my first loves, and I want them with me at the end.  I’m content with the things I’ve done in between—farmer, soldier, businessman.  But now I’m of a mind to go back to the beginning.

 “Poetry and Hums aren’t things which you get, they’re things which get you.  And all you can do is to go where they can find you.” 
--Winnie the Pooh
**We’ve all heard that old saying, “There is no such thing as a dumb question”.

I don’t buy it. Truth be told, I haven’t bought it since I was a kid. There really are dumb questions. The first time this realization hit me was when my father was scolding me for some infraction or other. I gave him an exquisitely beautiful explanation of why I had done what I had done, and he just looked at me and said: “Do I have STUPID written across my forehead?” I immediately realized, “dumb question”. On the one hand, if I’d thought he wouldn’t buy my wonderful story, I wouldn’t have told it. On the other hand, I wasn’t going to be stupid enough to say, “Well, yes. It’s right there just above your eyebrows, and oh, by the way, why do you have that one long eyebrow hair that wants to grow the wrong direction?”

Over the years, I’ve fielded a variety of dumb questions, mostly with a dignity which they did not deserve. One of my favorites was when I used to work in a retail store. People would come up to me frequently and ask, “Excuse me. Do you know where the bathroom is?” And I’d always tell them. What I really wanted to say was, “No. I’ve been holding it in for a year now. If you find it, please let me know.” Or better yet, “No. I just go out in the alley behind the dumpster”.

And of course, there are the cops. Cops have some of the best dumb questions. I was involved in an accident a couple of years ago when a lady ran a stop sign and broadsided me. So I’m sitting there in my truck, which is still in its proper lane, only facing the wrong direction, and the cop comes up:

Cop: “What happened here?”

Me: “I don’t know officer. I just got here myself, but it seems to me that this lady’s Buick tried to mate with my Ford, and things just got a little out of hand. You know how young cars are these days…”

What happened? Seriously? It’s not just a little bit obvious than an accident has occurred? I’d much rather him ask what he’s really thinking, “Just how the hell did you guys manage to do this?”

Or you’ve just been pulled over for speeding. What’s the first dumb question out of his mouth? “Do you know how fast you were going?” If you answered, “Well officer, I’m not sure, but since you managed to stop me, obviously it wasn’t fast enough”, go to the head of the class.

While cop questions can be dangerous, the one I fear most is from my spouse. Guys, you know THE ONE. “Honey, does this dress make me look fat?” Whoa. Dumb question. “Well Lord yes. Where did you get it, Omar the Tentmaker?” NOT. So, depending on the situation, you may or may not lie. She knows that. She knew it before she asked the question. SHE ALREADY KNOWS THE ANSWER. So why does she ask the question? I’ve been married 34 years and haven’t a clue.

But you know trouble is headed your way when someone comes up to you and says, “This may be a dumb question, but…”. Duck. Run. Seek shelter immediately! There are only two reasons people preface their question with this statement, and both of them are bad news for you. The first reason a person prefaces their question with this statement is that they ALREADY THINK THEY KNOW THE ANSWER AND YOU DON’T! They feel certain that you will just be astounded at their insight. “This may be a dumb question, but has anyone thought about charging money for the work we do?” Why no. That’s brilliant. Wherever do you come up with this stuff? Why come on in here right now, and let me put you in charge.

The second, and related, reason they preface their questions with this statement, is that they believe their brain operates on a much higher plane than yours, and if they don’t share their insights you will have no opportunity to glimpse into the higher cosmos. “This may be a dumb question, but have you ever thought what would happen if you won the lottery and the next day space invaders attacked the Earth?” You know what? They are right. My brain doesn’t operate on that level. I can honestly say, “Why no. I never thought of that”. In my case, my brain is so limited it can only grasp the first part of the question, “What would happen if you won the lottery…?” It gets bogged down for hours trying to figure out that one little thing, and just never seems to make the leap to aliens attacking the Earth. I guess it’s just a curse I’ll have to carry.

Seriously though, questions are how we learn. I don’t want you to stop asking them. Albert Einstein once said: “The important thing is not to stop questioning…Never lose a holy curiosity”. But you might want to put a little thought into it as well, and remember to keep in mind what Publius Syrus said around 100 BC, “It is not every question that deserves an answer”.

Anyway, I was thinking, and this may be a dumb question, but…OK. Never mind.